Friday, March 2, 2012

I finally stopped going to AA because of one of the members I heard one night…

What's In Kay's Mind - Connecting The Dots: I don’t know how she found it out but I can surely tell you I have faired better outside the walls of AA meetings…

…He called himself a recovering alcoholic.   It was so foreign that it caught my attention and I later asked someone about what he was doing.  I was too shy to ask him.  I finally had a member give me a copy of her book, Psycho-cybernetics by Maxwell Maltz, I read through quickly as it was a pocket sized book.   In it Maltz uses the analogy that if you are driving down the road and focus on the curb you will eventually steer your car to the curb.   This did not connect with everything going on in my life but I started to catch the drift.  I later had agreed to speak at ATC one Saturday and found myself unable to barely utter a word.   I was embarrassed and later discovered what I had read had more of an impact than I realized.   My sobriety was short lived because of what I also learned from Ms. Woititz’s book, which was likely enmeshments and not being able to recognize many things in the landscape of my mother’s or father’s minds such as television they watched or films they saw or all they read.   What I did not know at that time too was how to defend myself from these transferences or to stop people from putting things into my mind without me having to physically leaving.   Sometimes geographical cures do work but they fail to advance one’s mental development through experience, that I do understand.  An example would be, me yelling at film makers about pointing guns at me on the TV.   I’ve never pointed a gun at anyone in my whole life.    

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