A discouraging word…

“Are you queer”?

I am quite disturbed by this question I hear repeatedly.   For a country so advanced in so many areas, [we can clone ourselves] it is beyond my comprehension that this word is still used to refer to one’s sexual preference.   I have discussed sexual development in Kay’s Commentary.   We all go through stages of preferring one parent over the other, quite like a ping pong ball, we bounce back and forth, depending on what the parents do to please or displease us, shaping us into the people we become, mostly based on how we react to our parents and what we are thinking in this process.   If we are hurt in a profound way, we make lock ourselves into a position and remain there. 

I have come to understand in a very personal way that often forgiving sets one up for more of the same pain, which sometimes meant locking one or the other parent out of my present mental state.   This gave rise to the appearance of having a sexual preference in opposition to my physical anatomy.

“Queer” is an inappropriate term in identifying one with sexual preference issues in the 21st century.   The word was coined decades ago in reference to individuals who were eccentric, odd in character and manner seeming to be outside the patterns of normal society. They may or may not have been homosexual.

Resolving these issues for myself, personally, became a monumental task with the presence of television in our home that opened doors of possibilities that otherwise were not present.   This is not a matter of finding fault, but rather with acknowledging the potential to think beyond the box in which I was living.   Unfortunately the box in which I was viewing all this potential, in my generation, was mostly male oriented.  It was not until the 70’s that I was exposed to women being something other than distraught housewives and or sex slaves.   It has only been recently that I discovered films in which a woman was the boss of her own company, done in the 1940’s by one of my own family.   I simply was not exposed to it in my youth.   My saving grace was when my father encouraged me to be and do whatever I wanted and told me I was capable of being what ever I wanted, however he had little understanding of the mind and brain.  

Jesus said, “know thyself”.   I knew more about characters on television than I did my own family, their talents or my own brain.  Jesus was right.  The key to being in control of one’s self is knowing one’s self, inside and out.