Friday February 19, 2010 – ripping dolls – Doll Baby film…

I also related Sylvia Plath’s story to Virginia Woolf and her childhood anxiety possibly, over the Jack the Ripper killings, and her own molestation that I now believe I re-enacted in my childhood, who may have been Mary Jane Kelly, who may have been prompted to commit suicide, (or Woolf’s brother). During a severe thunderstorm one evening as I was looking out my bathroom window trying to photograph the lightning, it struck me (no pun intended) that Woolf might have looked out a window during a storm possibly having  visions of the Ripper Killings she might have thought were actually going on outside her home at the time.   I researched her childhood home and found Talland House, Woolf’s childhood home.  It seemed quite possible that could have happened.  I also recollected a Twilight Zone episode, portrayed my William Shatner, Nightmare at 20,000 Feet, about a man who suffered from an anxiety disorder while flying.  Thinking he had recovered he boarded a plane and began having visions again of some ape like creature on the wing of the plane at which time he tried to kill it by hanging outside the window firing a weapon.

I would not have thought of this in this way had I not seen Orlando.  Why Woolf could not relate this to her own life is a mystery to me unless she really did not drown herself but wrote about the drowning death of another, Ophelia maybe, or Bloody Mary.  I also read some of Woolf’s story, not being very happy about what her husband was doing to her and could relate it to my own personal life. 

Was the Bloomsbury Group ripping her off, or was ripping related to the Ripper killings or some sewing job, ripping seams.  Ripping is a key word here to me.  Catherine Eddowes ~ Sews Odds and ends, a doll maker.  The Dollmaker, a superb film.  I have seen this movie too!  I also watched, The Hours, that seemed to confirm what I was thinking.

Of course it would be Woolf’s own work that saved her future existence.

It has been hard for me since I have had no idea what story Katherine was trying to follow and the traumas that interrupted my life, struggling to keep from acting, rather than writing about what was going on in my life.   Some children tend to draw things out before they write about them, apparently.