What's In Your Brain? What's In Your Mind?: I am having a problem sleeping…updated

What's In Your Brain? What's In Your Mind?: I am having a problem sleeping…updated

I have mentioned this before.

I think it’s because of the psychic connections.  Some are trying to tap my mind at night for a story.  Having been born at 14 minutes past midnight my mind often starts to wake up and then I am unable to sleep but my body is tired and wants to sleep because I have been up and active all day.   During the day I feel like I am sleep walking.  I hear voices of writers trying to engage me in dialoguing and sometimes at night, I hear the voices of various people trying to get Victoria’s story which I have been mixed up in or the Jack the Ripper Story or some other story or some film that’s mixed up in my mind or that I have seen or is in someone else’s mind I am connected to or some music I have listened to or that someone else has heard to whom I am connected.  The music sometimes shows up at night when I am trying to sleep.   This makes for a serious sleep problem and I have become progressively more dysfunctional.    When the people I am connected to go to sleep, some of them dissociate their daytime activities.  This also awakens my mind with mental activity I am not familiar with.  

I have repeatedly requested benzodiazepines for sleep.  My sister gets them, my mother gets them, but for some reason they will not give them to me.   This has been the pattern throughout my life of not getting adequate sleep and the drugs I have taken over the years have not amounted to a handful as I have only taken one or two at the time, rarely consistently, except for the two overdoses.   Alcohol is the only thing I have used on a consistent basis.   As I said, during the day I feel as if I am sleep walking, I feel drowsy then I have to take something to wake me up, caffeine or tea.   I went through this same problem while in college.   I had to take black beauties or Dexedrine or some kind of upper to stay awake during the day.   It affected my performance, I started abusing alcohol more often, eventually dropped out of college and joined the Army where I got even less sleep than I had in college.   One would think it would be cumulative and that I should be sleeping a lot but I haven’t because of the conditions of my environment, noise, and  how my brain has been rewired by the television, films and music.  

I DO NOT CLEAN MINDS.  I am not interested in funding someone financial needs with my mind or brain.  I have requested the drugs from two different hospitals. 

The Power of Your Subconscious Mind, The Wonders of Sleep, page 192.   I read an older version of this book in the 80’s in which Murphy talked about a man who won the Guinness Book of Records for going without sleep, one I have no interest in, but someone certainly intended me trying out for it.   In this updated version to which I have linked, it is clear that one can be driven to do just about anything for sleep including spending outrageous sums of money for medications or even murder.

As I mentioned earlier, I have made no agreements to permit myself to be involved in any psychological studies on sleep.   I was involved in one sleep study in 1998 at the Durham, VA but that has long been over.  I did get a prescription recently for only 20 tabs and I had to take more than one and it was just beginning to work when they ran out. 

I know Susan had a problem with my being single and not having the responsibility of a child so she concluded that putting me in prison would take care of my trying to GET OUT of having any responsibility by having me listen to all their horror stories and screaming and yelling, which she manipulated me into on three occasions, thus cleaning up her and Helen’s Spear’s parenting habits.   They took little care to determine that I had already been subjected to my mother’s and aunt’s parenting history.  

NO MORE.  I NEED SOME SLEEP.

For the sake of people who think I am drunk.